Ash Wednesday

Today, Ash Wednesday, begins the liturgical season of Lent, a forty day preparation for the great feast of Easter. Traditionally, Lent is a time of increased prayer, fasting, and almsgiving as Christians seek to enter into Jesus’ Paschal Mystery of His suffering, death, and Resurrection.

In his Lenten Message this year, Pope Benedict reminded us that living the Christian life means recognizing the fundamental communion that exists among all people; by virtue of being human, we are all children of God, and therefore brothers and sisters. One effect of this profound communion is that we share responsibility for each other’s integral well-being, both physically and spiritually. As Pope Benedict explains, “The other is part of me, and…his or her life, his or her salvation, concern my own life and salvation. Here we touch upon a profound aspect of communion: our existence is related to that of others, for better or for worse. Both our sins and our acts of love have a social dimension.”

Both our sins and our acts of love have a social dimension. Our Holy Father’s short but powerful statement connects well with the Church’s teaching on marriage. Rather than being an entirely private relationship between a man and a woman, each and every marriage has a profound impact on the world. As the Second Vatican Council put it, “The well-being of the individual person and of human and Christian society is intimately linked with the healthy condition of that community produced by marriage and family” (GS, no. 47). The Church is concerned about marriage because she is concerned about the integral well-being of each and every person, who is invariably affected by marriage – or the lack thereof.

We invite you this Lent to join us in praying for the promotion and defense of marriage, using our prayer or your own.

Other resources for Lent:

• For Your Marriage feature: Getting Ready for Lent
• USCCB Resources for Lent

Sunday Pope Quote: Benedict XVI on the family and the meaning of life

Today’s Sunday Pope Quote : Beautiful words about the family from Pope Benedict, given during a pastoral visit to Palermo in Italy in October 2010. Some highlights from his address follow.

Pope Benedict XVI: “The family is fundamental because that is where the first awareness of the meaning of life germinates in the human soul. It germinates in the relationship with the mother and the father, who are not masters of their children’s lives but are God’s primary collaborators in the transmission of life and faith.”

“Each one of us needs fertile ground in which to sink our own roots, a ground rich with nutritious substances that make a person grow: these are values, but above all they are love and faith, the knowledge of God’s true face, the awareness that he loves us infinitely, faithfully, patiently, to the point of giving his life for us.”

“Divine love, which unites a man and a woman and makes them become parents, is capable of generating in the hearts of their children the seed of faith, that is, the light of the deep meaning of life.”

Address during a Meeting with Young People and Families of Sicily in Palermo, Italy (Oct. 3, 2010)

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II (or occasionally another pope). These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

Previous Sunday Pope Quotes

Married Saint: St. Philip Howard

The basics:

• Born June 28, 1557, in London
• Died October 19, 1595, in the Tower of London
• Canonized in 1970 by Pope Paul VI
• Father of one son
• Patron of betrayal victims and separated spouses

An image of St. Philip Howard.

In 1970, St. Philip Howard was named by Pope Paul VI one of the “Forty Martyrs of Wales and England.” Yet as with many martyrs, St. Philip’s early life was little indication of the supreme honor he would one day receive, dying for the sake of Christ.

Philip Howard was born in 1557 in an England that was still reeling from King Henry VIII’s establishment of the Church of England. During Philip’s childhood, “Bloody” Queen Mary was on the throne, a Catholic ruler who rejected the Church of England. Accordingly, Philip was baptized as a Catholic by the archbishop of York. He later pursued his education at Cambridge.

However, times were soon to change. Queen Elizabeth I succeeded Queen Mary, and the country once again became Protestant; more than that, Catholicism was strictly forbidden. As with so many Englishmen at the time, Philip’s father took the family with him back into the Church of England. Change was also happening in Philip’s home: his father remarried a woman with three daughters. At the young age of 14, St. Philip was given in marriage to one of these daughters, Anne; his other two brothers married the other two daughters.

St. Philip’s early years as a husband were none too pious. Climbing the career ladder was forefront in his mind, while family and faith fell by the wayside. His young wife, Anne, stayed admirably devoted to her inattentive and often moody husband, even as he spent more and more time at the Queen’s court, seeking to build his prestige and affluence. And yet it was here at Court that the seeds were sown for Philip’s later years of discipleship.

At the Queen’s court one day, Philip witnessed a theological debate between Anglican theologians and the Jesuit priest St. Edmund Campion. (St. Edmund would be martyred as a result of this dispute.) The words of St. Edmund took three years to penetrate Philip’s heart and mind, but when they did, he was solidly convinced of the truth of the Catholic faith. His conversion led him to devote more time to his wife and to prayer, and to generally amend his life. But it also caught the attention of the Queen who, recall, had outlawed Catholicism. After Philip wrote Her Majesty a letter – with feeling! – about his newfound faith, she had him thrown into the Tower of London.

In the Tower, Philip suffered all of the usual indignities. Confined to a small, unappealing space, and forbidden from seeing his wife or his newborn son, Philip suffered patiently, often repeating Jesus’ words from the Cross “Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit.” Finally, on October 19, 1595, 38-year-old Philip took leave of this life to receive the crown of a martyr. He left his last testament on the wall of his cell, as if to remove any doubt about why and for whom he died: Quanto plus afflictions pro Christo in hoc saeculo, tanto plus gloriae cum Christo in futuro (“The more afflictions we bear for Christ in this world, the more glory we attain with Christ in the world to come.”)

St. Philip Howard, husband and martyr, pray for those who are persecuted because of their faith in Jesus and their love of His Church. Give strength especially to those husbands and wives who are separated from each other under difficult circumstances. Pray in a particular way for the faithful of England, that they may stay rooted in the love of Christ.

St. Philip Howard, pray for us!

National Marriage Week: Closing Remarks from Bishop Cordileone

Dear friends,

Bishop Salvatore J. Cordileone

Today marks the end of National Marriage Week USA. It is no accident that its culmination falls on Valentine’s Day, which has long been regarded as a day to celebrate love. Indeed, love is a great gift; even more, love is “the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being” (Catechism, no. 1604). Every man and woman, created in the image of a God who is Love, is called to the vocation of love.

Reflecting on the gift of love moves us to reflect on the gift of marriage, which is a unique and privileged instance of love. As our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI wrote in his encyclical Deus Caritas Est (God is Love), among the many meanings given to the word “love” today, “one in particular stands out: love between man and woman, where body and soul are inseparably joined and human beings glimpse an apparently irresistible promise of happiness. This would seem to be the very epitome of love” (no. 2).

Marriage is indeed a great gift, and a great witness to the beauty of love. The lifelong, life-giving bond formed between husband and wife is a great good not only for them, but also for any children who come from their union, and for all of society. As National Marriage Week USA draws to a close, I encourage each of you to continue praying that all in our nation would recognize and protect the unique beauty of marriage.

May the Lord bless you abundantly,

Most Reverend Salvatore J. Cordileone
Bishop of Oakland
Chairman, Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage

National Marriage Week: Returning to the Sources

“I want to explain the Church’s teaching on marriage when it comes up in conversation…but I just don’t know how!”

Has this thought ever crossed your mind? If so, you’re not alone! Articulating what the Catholic Church believes and teaches about marriage can be difficult, especially in a cultural climate where many of its main tenets are rejected.

One strategy is to return to the sources. That is, become knowledgeable about the Church’s authoritative teaching on marriage, as found in major papal and episcopal documents and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Frequent consultation of these main sources helps us to become ever more fluent in the “language” of the Church when she speaks about marriage. And when difficult questions come up in conversation or surface in the media, it’s helpful to know where to turn for solid answers.

But where to begin? Below, we offer an introduction to a few of the many important documents about marriage. We encourage you to become acquainted (or perhaps re-acquainted) with the Church’s beautiful and timeless teaching on marriage.

*Note: the following is not meant to be an exhaustive list. Additional sources will be highlighted in future posts.

1. USCCB, Pastoral Letter Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan (2009)

• Why it matters: It’s the most recent document on marriage from the entire body of U.S. bishops, approved in 2009.
• Structure:
  • Mini-book, 58 pages long
  • Part One: Marriage in the Order of Creation (The Natural Institution of Marriage)
  • Part Two: Marriage in the Order of the New Creation (The Sacrament of Matrimony)
• Highlights:
  • Identifies four “fundamental challenges” to marriage: contraception, same-sex unions, divorce, and cohabitation (pp. 17-27).
  • Reflects on marriage as a vocation and offers advice to married couples seeking to grow in virtue (pp. 43-45).
• Quotable:
  • “For all who seek to find meaning in their marriage will do so when they are open to accepting the transcendent meaning of marriage according to God’s plan” (p. 4).
  • “Male and female are distinct bodily ways of being human, of being open to God and to one another – two distinct yet harmonizing ways of responding to the vocation to love” (p. 10).
  • “The marital vocation is not a private or merely personal affair. Yes, marriage is a deeply personal union and relationship, but it is also for the good of the Church and the entire community” (p. 44).
• Additional Resources:
  • Abridged version
  • Study version with glossary
  • Leader’s guide (excellent for facilitating reflection and discussion)
  • Suggested bulletin inserts

2. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2^nd ed. (1997)

• Why it matters: The Catechism conveys the essential content of the Catholic faith (including its teaching on marriage) in a complete and summary way. Divided into easy-to-digest paragraphs, the Catechism also provides numerous footnotes for further study.
• Structure and key sections:
  • 904 pages, divided into four parts and 2,865 paragraphs
  • The sacrament of matrimony: nos. 1601-1606
    • See especially “The goods and requirements of conjugal love” – nos. 1643-1654
  • Sexual difference: nos. 369-373 and 2331-2336
  • The love of husband and wife: nos. 2360-2379
  • Offenses against the dignity of marriage: nos. 2380-2391
• Quotable:
  • “God created man and woman together and willed each for the other” (no. 371).
  • “The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (no. 1603).
  • “Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity” (no. 2333).
  • “Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful” (no. 2366).
• Additional Resources:
  • U.S. Catholic Catechism for Adults
  • Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church
  • Catechism FAQs

3. Bl. John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (1981)

• English title: On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World
• Why it matters: Promulgated in response to the 1980 Synod of Bishops, Familiaris Consortio reads like a “little summa” of the theology of marriage and the family. Its pastoral advice, which touches on a diverse range of topics from women and society to responsible parenthood to mixed marriages to divorce, is grounded on a robust anthropology of the human person and theology of marriage and the family. It calls the family to a simple but profound mission: “Family, become what you are!”
• Structure:
  • 86 sections
  • Part One: Bright Spots and Shadows for the Family Today
  • Part Two: The Plan of God for Marriage and the Family
  • Part Three: The Role of the Christian Family
    • 1) Forming a Community of Persons
    • 2) Serving Life
    • 3) Participating in the Development of Society
    • 4) Sharing in the Life and Mission of the Church
  • Part Four: Pastoral Care of the Family: Stages, Structures, Agents and Situations
• Quotable:
  • “Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being” (no. 11).
  • “Every act of true love toward a human being bears witness to and perfects the spiritual fecundity of the family, since it is an act of obedience to the deep inner dynamism of love as self-giving to others” (no. 41).
  • “The future of the world and of the church passes through the family” (no. 75).
• Additional Resources
  • Commentary by Dr. Joseph Atkinson, associate professor of Sacred Scripture at the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and the Family: “A Family Manifesto – How to Read Familiaris Consortio” (originally appeared in Crisis Magazine, Dec. 2001)

4. Bl. John Paul II, Letter to Families (1994)

• Why it matters: Promulgated during the Year of the Family, John Paul II addressed this letter “not to families ‘in the abstract’ but to every particular family in every part of the world” (no. 4). A perfect complement to the longer Familiaris Consortio, Letter to Families invites families to reflect on their identity (especially its likeness to the Triune God) and their mission (building a civilization of love).
• Structure:
  • 23 sections
  • Part One: The Civilization of Love
    • Includes: marital covenant and communion, sincere gift of self, and responsible parenthood
  • Part Two: The Bridegroom is with You
    • Includes: reflections on the wedding at Cana, the sacrament of marriage, and Mary
• Quotable:
  • “When a man and woman in marriage mutually give and receive each other in the unity of ‘one flesh,’ the logic of the sincere gift of self becomes a part of their life” (no. 11).
  • “Freedom cannot be understood as a license to do absolutely anything: it means a gift of self. Even more: it means an interior discipline of the gift” (no. 14).
  • “Families are meant to contribute to the transformation of the earth and the renewal of the world, of creation and of all humanity” (no. 18).

Sunday Pope Quote: Paul VI on the vocation and task of married couples

Today’s Sunday Pope Quote comes from Pope Paul VI’s words to married couples, found in his 1968 encyclical Humanae Vitae.

Pope Paul VI: And now We turn in a special way to Our own sons and daughters, to those most of all whom God calls to serve Him in the state of marriage. While the Church does indeed hand on to her children the inviolable conditions laid down by God’s law, she is also the herald of salvation and through the sacraments she flings wide open the channels of grace through which man is made a new creature responding in charity and true freedom to the design of his Creator and Savior, experiencing too the sweetness of the yoke of Christ. [see Mt. 11:30]

In humble obedience then to her voice, let Christian husbands and wives be mindful of their vocation to the Christian life, a vocation which, deriving from their Baptism, has been confirmed anew and made more explicit by the Sacrament of Matrimony. For by this sacrament they are strengthened and, one might almost say, consecrated to the faithful fulfillment of their duties. Thus will they realize to the full their calling and bear witness as becomes them, to Christ before the world. [See GS, no. 48] For the Lord has entrusted to them the task of making visible to men and women the holiness and joy of the law which united inseparably their love for one another and the cooperation they give to God’s love, God who is the Author of human life.

We have no wish at all to pass over in silence the difficulties, at times very great, which beset the lives of Christian married couples. For them, as indeed for every one of us, “the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life.” [Mt. 7:14; see Heb. 12:11] Nevertheless it is precisely the hope of that life which, like a brightly burning torch, lights up their journey, as, strong in spirit, they strive to live “sober, upright and godly lives in this world,” [Ti 2:12] knowing for sure that “the form of this world is passing away.” [See 1 Cor 7:31]

Humanae Vitae, no. 25

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II (or occasionally another pope). These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

All Sunday Pope Quotes

National Marriage Week: What does sexual difference have to do with marriage?

Today is the fourth day of National Marriage Week. On Tuesday, we reflected on what makes marriage unique, different from any other relationship on earth. Today the topic is more focused: why does sexual difference matter for marriage? In other words, why is marriage the union of one man and one woman?

What is sexual difference?

1)      The call to accept one’s sexual identity as a man or as a woman

As we did before, let’s begin with the human person, with an authentic anthropology. Crucial here is the fact that to exist as a human person means to be embodied. (When was the last time you met someone without a body?) Echoing Bl. John Paul II’s terminology, we can say that the body “reveals” man and is “an expression of the person” (TOB, 9.4 and 27.3). In other words, encountering a living human body means at the same time encountering a human person. The body is not just a shell or a conduit for one’s “real” self but is intimately and inseparably united with one’s identity, one’s “I”.

Further, to exist as a human person means to exist as a man or as a woman. The human body is fundamentally a gendered reality, not a gender-less (androgynous) one.[1] And because the body is a deeply personal reality and not just a biological fact, being a man or being a woman is not just a matter of anatomical features or “the shape of my skin.” Instead, one’s sexual identity – as a man or as a woman – affects a person at every level of his or her existence (biologically, psychologically, genetically, and so forth). As the Catechism puts it, “Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul… Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity” (CCC, nos. 2332 and 2333, emphasis in original).

2)      An irreducible and dynamic difference

What does sexual identity have to do with sexual difference? Simply this: when we speak of sexual difference, we mean both the existence of two distinct sexual identities (man or woman) and the built-in mutual relationship between them. In other words, sexual difference has to do with the irreducible and dynamic difference of man to woman and woman to man.

Why “irreducible”? Because sexual difference is primordial, basic, and unique. It is fundamental to human experience and reality. Unlike other differences between people, sexual difference undergirds everything that we are as human persons, male or female. Sexual difference cuts across geographic, ethnic, and other differences, being in fact more basic than these other differences.

Why “dynamic”? Because sexual difference distinguishes in order to unite. In fact, sexual difference is precisely what enables communion between man and woman to exist at all. (More on this soon.)

Put another way, sexual difference is a mutually referential kind of difference – we know woman fully only by knowing man, and know man fully only by knowing woman. The differences between them do not just set them apart but hint at something more, at a call to communion between them. This call to communion inscribed in man and woman is part of what Bl. John Paul II had in mind when he wrote the following:

“The person, by the light of reason and the support of virtue, discovers in the body the anticipatory signs, the expression and the promise of the gift of self, in conformity with the wise plan of the Creator” (VS, no. 48).

Sexual difference, then, far from being merely a biological or anatomical fact, communicates a wealth of truth about the human person! If we have the eyes to see, as Bl. John Paul II urges us to, we’ll see in the human person’s identity as man and woman the “anticipatory signs” of the “gift of self,” or, using the language of the Catechism, we’ll see the call to love, which is the “fundamental and innate vocation of every human being” (CCC, no. 1604).

Sexual difference and marriage

We are now well-poised to understand what sexual difference has to do with marriage. As a recap of Tuesday’s post, marriage is a unique relationship that has a number of essential characteristics (without which marriage wouldn’t be marriage):

• Marriage is total (gift of self)
• Marriage is faithful and exclusive (a truthful gift)
• Marriage is forever (the gift of one’s future)
• Marriage is life-giving (the gift of one’s fertility)

Sexual difference matters here: it is the ground (the foundation) of the capacity of husband and wife to exchange a mutual, total gift of their entire selves, a gift precisely at the center of what marriage is. Without sexual difference, this gift would not be possible. Put more specifically: the love between husband and wife involves a free, total, and faithful gift of self that not only expresses love but also opens the spouses to receive the gift of a child. No other human interaction on earth is like this!

Sexual difference, then, is not an optional “add-on” to an already existing entity called “marriage” (much like you might choose to add sprinkles to your ice cream – or not). Instead, sexual difference is at the very heart of what marriage is. It’s what capacitates man and woman to give themselves completely to each other as husband and wife. Sexual difference matters for marriage.

Interested in learning more? Check out the DVD “Made for Each Other,” its Viewer’s Guide and Resource Booklet, and all of the Sexual Difference FAQs. Also see the previous blog series on sexual difference.

National Marriage Week: An example of faithful love, enduring unto death (Bl. Elizabeth Canori Mora)

The basics:

• Born November 21, 1774, in Rome
• Died February 5, 1825, in Rome
• Married January 10, 1796
• Mother of two daughters
• Beatified April 24, 1994, by Pope John Paul II

A holy card of Blessed Elizabeth.

In Blessed Elizabeth Canori Mora, we have a stunning example of married love that endures “unto death,” even in the midst of profound suffering. Born into a wealthy Roman family in 1774, Elizabeth spent much of her childhood in the care of Augustinian nuns in the countryside of Cascia. In her happy years there, her love for Jesus blossomed, and many thought that she might have a religious vocation.

However, in her teen years, Elizabeth developed tuberculosis and returned to her parents’ home to recuperate. Away from the convent, her desire for religious profession faded just as her interest in a certain young law student, Cristoforo Mora, grew. Discerning that God was calling her to the married state, Elizabeth exchanged marriage vows with Cristofero in 1796.

The first few months of their married life were sweet and joyful. Cristoforo delighted in showing off his young, beautiful bride. However, his affections started to become overshadowed by jealousy, and he began to restrict Elizabeth’s correspondences, wanting to have his wife “all to himself.” Jealously eventually degenerated into disinterest, and disinterest into rejection, and so yet within a few short years, Cristoforo grew cold toward his wife, and began what would be a long chain of infidelities.

A young mother now with two daughters, Elizabeth bore the cruelty and rejection of her husband bravely, offering all of her sufferings for his repentance and conversion. As Cristoforo spent his time philandering and squandering their resources, Elizabeth patiently struggled to make ends meet and ensure that their daughters, Marianna and Lucina, were properly cared for and educated. Even as friends and advisors urged Elizabeth to leave her unfaithful husband, she clung to the vows she had made and the grace of God that she trusted to sustain her.

Drawing her strength from prayer, mass, and her devotion to the Holy Trinity, Elizabeth never ceased loving Cristoforo and praying for him. She encouraged her daughters to do the same, never permitting rancor or anger to be directed at her husband and their father. Faithful until the last, Elizabeth offered her dying words for her husband’s conversion. And finally, after witnessing his holy wife’s holy death, Cristoforo experienced profound remorse for the anguish he had caused his family. Repenting of his sins, he amended his life, and in a turn of events that was due in no small measure to his wife’s intercession, Cristoforo lived the remaining years of his life as a Franciscan priest.

At Elizabeth’s beatification on April 24, 1994 (during the Year of the Family), John Paul II said this about the saintly wife and mother:

“For her part Elizabeth Canori Mora, amidst a great many marital difficulties, showed total fidelity to the commitment she had made in the sacrament of marriage, and to the responsibility stemming from it. Constant in prayer and in her heroic dedication to her family, she was able to rear her children as Christians and succeeded in converting her husband” (original source, in Italian).

And during the recitation of the Regina Caeli on Elizabeth’s beatification day, the Holy Father pointed to Elizabeth as a reminder to all that “love is stern as death” (Song of Songs 8:6) (original source available in Italian or Spanish).

A prayer: St. Elizabeth Canori Mora, we entrust to you all struggling marriages, and especially spouses who have been abandoned. May they know that their witness to marital fidelity is a treasure for the world and a sign of God’s never-failing love for his beloved children. Bring faithless spouses back to their families, and heal all of the wounds of sin and betrayal.

St. Elizabeth, pray for us!

National Marriage Week: How Are the Bishops Promoting and Protecting Marriage…and Why?

Bishops are teachers

From the earliest days of the Church, Christians “devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles” (Acts 2:42). The bishops, as the successors of the Apostles, are teachers. For an apostle to teach means giving witness to the Truth. To teach the Truth means not only to teach the truth of faith, but also to remind men and women of the intrinsic dignity of reason. Human beings have the natural ability to know things as they really are by the light of reason. It is no wonder that the Catholic Church has maintained schools and universities throughout the world for centuries!

There is collaboration that takes place when one teaches and when one learns; and the bishops in the United States—in communion with the Bishop of Rome, the Pope—join together in a conference to collaborate on the issues that face our country and the Church in the United States.

Marriage is a truth accessible to both faith and reason

Marriage is one such reality that the U.S. Bishops are working to teach—or simply remind—the Church and our nation of its basic meaning and definition. Marriage is not only a teaching of faith, but is also a truth accessible to reason. In other words, we can and should have recourse to natural human reason in defending the truth of the Church’s moral teaching regarding marriage. Marriage is not simply a “religious” question; it’s a reality embedded in nature (the nature of the human person as male and female). The Church does not speak of marriage simply as a “religious” issue. Rather, it is a concern for civil society based on the natural law and the very truth of the human person, created as male and female.

The U.S. Bishop’s initiative, Marriage Unique for a Reason, under the auspices of the USCCB Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage, is one way in which the Catholic Church in the United States is seeking to invite our nation to consider and reclaim the basic truth and beauty of the unchangeable meaning of marriage.

Marriage: Unique for a Reason: Resources for proclaiming the authentic meaning of marriage

The Marriage: Unique for a Reason initiative includes a number of resources, with more on the way.

Completed and ready to use:

• “Made for Each Other” – DVD and companion written materials on sexual difference and complementarity between men and women
• “Made for Life” – DVD and companion written materials on the gift of children and the indispensable need for fathers and mothers
• Marriage: Unique for a Reason website (www.marriageuniqueforareason.org) – FAQs about marriage, Church teaching library, blog and more

In development:

• Spanish-language DVD resource – comprehensive treatment of the four topics addressed in the English-language DVDs
• DVD resource about marriage and the common good
• DVD resource about marriage and religious liberty

St. Peter exhorts us, “Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope” (1 Pt 3:15). The bishops’ apostolic mission of teaching helps us all to be ready to explain the meaning of marriage, a sign of great hope for the world.

National Marriage Week: Celebrating the Unique Beauty and Promise of Marriage

February 7 through 14 is National Marriage Week, a collaborative effort to strengthen marriages and emphasize the benefits of marriage to husbands, wives, children, and society. It’s an appropriate time to think again about what makes marriage unique. What sets it apart from any other relationship on earth? In an age when many of us have experienced the wounds that come from broken marriages and families, and when unfortunate confusion about the meaning of marriage abounds, we are called to witness to a truth and a hope much deeper and much more real than we often see on TV or hear on the news. One way to assist us in this witness is to return to the basics and reflect once more on the unique, irreplaceable beauty of marriage.

Men and Women Matter: Let’s Start with the Human Person

Anthropology – the study of the human person – is an indispensable starting point for thinking about marriage. After all, marriage has to do with persons; it is a personal relationship. We must ask, “What does it mean to be a human person, as a man or as a woman?” Fundamentally, three points are important:

• Imago Dei: Human persons, male and female, are created in the image and likeness of God; every human person has inviolable dignity and worth.
• Vocation to love: Because “God is love” (see 1 John 4:8), human persons, as male and female created in God’s image, are given the vocation, and the responsibility, to love (see CCC, no. 1604 and FC, no. 11).
• Male and female: The body (masculine or feminine) is not an afterthought but is essential to the identity of the human person created in the image of God.

Where does marriage fit into this? Well, the Catechism tells us that “the vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (CCC, no. 1603). In other words, marriage comes into existence at the same moment that man and woman are created. Marriage is a particularly significant way that men and women can live out their vocation to love (see FC, no. 11).

Gift and Promise: Essential characteristics of marriage

Keeping in mind the nature of the human person – created male and female and called to the vocation of love – let’s now talk about the essential characteristics of marriage. As with any work of defining terms, it’s important to identify those things that make marriage unique, different from any other type of relationship. Yes, there are characteristics marriage shares in common with other relationships between people (for example, affection, longevity, shared interests, and so on). But marriage is a unique bond. If we were to explain to a visitor from Mars what makes marriage different from other relationships, what would we say?

The following list identifies those properties without which marriage wouldn’t be marriage – just like without peanuts, peanut butter wouldn’t be the same thing. We’re talking about essential characteristics – those things that are part of marriage’s very essence.

Marriage is total (gift of self)

Pope Paul VI describes beautifully what is meant by the totality of marriage in Humanae Vitae:

“It is a love which is total – that very special form of personal friendship in which husband and wife generously share everything, allowing no unreasonable exceptions and not thinking solely of their own convenience. Whoever really loves his partner loves not only for what he receives, but loves that partner for the partner’s own sake, content to be able to enrich the other with the gift of himself” (HV, no. 9).

The totality of marriage, then, refers to the immensity of the gift husband and wife give to each other – a gift not just of time, or money, or possessions, but a gift of their very selves. This gift is total because husband and wife hold absolutely nothing back from each other. As we’ll see, the “totality of the gift” helps illuminate the other characteristics of marriage.

Marriage is faithful and exclusive (a truthful gift)

Precisely because the gift of one’s self exchanged in marriage is total, it can only be given to one person at a time! (Picture the parody of a man saying to woman after woman, “I’m all yours!” “And yours!” “And yours!”) The totality of the gift demands exclusivity.

As the Catechism puts it,

“By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequences of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement ‘until further notice’” (CCC, no. 1647).

Marriage is forever (the gift of one’s future)

Contained within the gift of self that one gives in marriage is the gift of one’s future—the promise. Again, how could the gift be total if a time limit were placed on it? As Bl. Pope John Paul II said, a total self-gift must include “the temporal dimension”:

“If the person were to withhold something or reserve the possibility of deciding otherwise in the future, by this very fact he or she would not be giving totally” (FC, no. 11).

But how can anyone promise their future to another person…today? Here we see the awesome beauty of a vow: in one moment, on one day, husband and wife promise each other every moment, every day that is to come. The vow they exchange on their wedding day “takes up” every future moment, freeing husband and wife to know that they are entirely given to each other – forever.

Marriage is life-giving (the gift of one’s fertility)

We read in the Second Vatican Council document Gaudium et Spes, “Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the begetting and educating of children” (GS, no. 50). One way to understand this is to think that in giving themselves completely and unreservedly to each other in marriage, husband and wife give each other the gift of their fertility. In fact, the capacity to procreate new life is inscribed in the very nature of man and woman and in their coming together as “one flesh.”

As Bl. John Paul II explains, “the conjugal act ‘means’ not only love, but also potential fruitfulness” (TOB, no. 123.6). To be clear, this doesn’t mean that a child will – or should – be conceived in every marital act. What it does mean is that the love expressed by husband and wife is of its very nature both unitive and procreative: “one as well as the other [meaning] belong to the innermost truth of the conjugal act” (TOB, no. 123.6). To pledge everything to one’s spouse includes pledging the possibility of becoming a mother or a father together.

Next: What are the bishops doing to promote and protect marriage?

Sunday Pope Quote: Benedict XVI on the importance of strengthening the family

Today’s Sunday Pope Quote is a short-but-sweet excerpt from a message our Holy Father sent to bishops in Latin America and the Caribbean:

Pope Benedict XVI: One notes, however, with sadness, that homes are coming under increasingly adverse conditions caused by rapid cultural changes, by social instability, by the flows of migrants, by poverty, by educational programs that trivialize sexuality and by false ideologies. We cannot remain indifferent to these challenges. In the Gospel we find the light needed to respond to them without losing heart. Christ with his grace urges us to work with diligence and enthusiasm to accompany each one of the family members in discovering God’s plan of love for the human person. No effort is therefore wasted in promoting anything that can help to ensure that each family, founded on the indissoluble union between a man and a woman, accomplishes its mission of being a living cell of society, a nursery of virtues, a school of constructive and peaceful coexistence, an instrument of harmony and a privileged environment in which human life is welcomed and protected, joyfully and responsibly, from its beginning until its natural end.

Message on the Occasion of the Meeting of Bishops who head Episcopal Commissions for the Family and Life in Latin American and the Caribbean (March 28 – April 1, 2011; emphasis added)

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II (or occasionally another pope). These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

All Sunday Pope Quotes

Breaking: Washington state Senate votes today on bill to redefine marriage

Today, Wednesday February 1^st, the Washington state Senate is voting on a proposed bill that would redefine marriage to exclude sexual difference. The Senate Rules Committee had advanced the bill on Tuesday, approving it for a vote by the full chamber.

The bishops of Washington state have spoken out strongly against the bill. As previously reported here, all four Catholic bishops signed an open letter to the people of Washington: “Marriage and the Common Good: A statement on legislation to redefine marriage.”

Archbishop J. Peter Sartain also provided testimony against the bill in both the Senate (Committee on Government Operations, Tribal Relations & Elections) and the House (Judiciary Committee). Well-known marriage advocates Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse (Ruth Institute), Austin R. Nimocks (Alliance Defense Fund) and Christopher Plante (National Organization for Marriage) testified as well.

Find out more at the Washington State Catholic Conference’s website on marriage and the common good

Sunday Pope Quote: Bl. John Paul II on the family as the “sanctuary of life”

Today’s Sunday Pope Quote is a powerful passage from Evangelium Vitae on the connections between the family founded on marriage and the gospel of life. Drawing these connections is particularly appropriate as we reflect on the meaning of the 39^th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, which was marked, as always, by a tremendous outpouring of prayer and sacrifice at the March for Life in Washington, D.C. and other events throughout the country. As we come to understand from reading Bl. John Paul II’s words, protecting and promoting marriage and the family protects and promotes a culture of life!

Bl. John Paul II: Within the “people of life and the people for life”, the family has a decisive responsibility. This responsibility flows from its very nature as a community of life and love, founded upon marriage, and from its mission to “guard, reveal and communicate love”. Here it is a matter of God’s own love, of which parents are co-workers and as it were interpreters when they transmit life and raise it according to his fatherly plan. This is the love that becomes selflessness, receptiveness and gift. Within the family each member is accepted, respected and honoured precisely because he or she is a person; and if any family member is in greater need, the care which he or she receives is all the more intense and attentive.

The family has a special role to play throughout the life of its members, from birth to death. It is truly “the sanctuary of life: the place in which life-the gift of God-can be properly welcomed and protected against the many attacks to which it is exposed, and can develop in accordance with what constitutes authentic human growth”. Consequently the role of the family in building a culture of life is decisive and irreplaceable.

As the domestic church, the family is summoned to proclaim, celebrate and serve the Gospel of life. This is a responsibility which first concerns married couples, called to be givers of life, on the basis of an ever greater awareness of the meaning of procreation as a unique event which clearly reveals that human life is a gift received in order then to be given as a gift. In giving origin to a new life, parents recognize that the child, “as the fruit of their mutual gift of love, is, in turn, a gift for both of them, a gift which flows from them”.

It is above all in raising children that the family fulfils its mission to proclaim the Gospel of life. By word and example, in the daily round of relations and choices, and through concrete actions and signs, parents lead their children to authentic freedom, actualized in the sincere gift of self, and they cultivate in them respect for others, a sense of justice, cordial openness, dialogue, generous service, solidarity and all the other values which help people to live life as a gift. In raising children Christian parents must be concerned about their children’s faith and help them to fulfil the vocation God has given them. The parents’ mission as educators also includes teaching and giving their children an example of the true meaning of suffering and death. They will be able to do this if they are sensitive to all kinds of suffering around them and, even more, if they succeed in fostering attitudes of closeness, assistance and sharing towards sick or elderly members of the family.

Evangelium Vitae, no. 92 (all emphasis added)

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II (or occasionally another pope). These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

All Sunday Pope Quotes

Archbishop Dolan: Recapture the true meaning of chastity, sexual love

In a homily at St. Patrick’s cathedral on Sunday, January 15, Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York exhorted his congregation to “recapture the true meaning of sexual love” and recognize the great gift of the virtues of chastity and purity. He also spoke beautifully about marriage, calling it “the best image we have here on earth of the very way God loves us.”

“Chastity – purity,” defined the Archbishop, “is the virtue by which we integrate God’s wisdom about the joy and the beauty, the responsibility and the nobility of sexual love.” He added that chastity “frees us to enjoy this awesome gift of God, sexual love, in the healthiest, happiest relationship known to humanity, namely the tender, loving, faithful, fruitful, forever relationship we call marriage.”

Archbishop Dolan pointed out a few reasons why talking about chastity can make us uncomfortable and “antsy”: the virtue of chastity is a counter-cultural teaching that is difficult to live and often ignored, and chastity is often viewed as oppressive or misrepresented as being “anti-sex.” In light of the confusion about chastity or animosity toward it, the Archbishop remarked, “One of our most poignant challenges is to regain the upper ground on the ancient wisdom of chastity and purity, to recapture the true meaning of sexual love and credibly re-present it to ourselves…to our own Catholic and Christian people…and to a world that I’m afraid at times has reduced it to…nothing more than culture’s most popular contact sport.”

And, of course, chastity is intimately linked with marriage. The Archbishop drew the connections between the two, saying:

“It is chastity and purity that are predicated on the poetry that the intimacy between a man and woman united in the lifelong, life-giving, loving, faithful bond of marriage is about the best image we have here on earth of the very way God loves us, and the best hint we have of the joy that awaits us in eternity.”

Listen to the entire homily here.

Explore USCCB resources on chastity.

Read what the Catechism says about chastity and marriage.

Sunday Pope Quote: Bl. John Paul II on man, woman, love, and God

Bl. John Paul II: “Man cannot exist ‘alone’ (cf. Gen 2:18); he can exist only as a ‘unity of the two’, and therefore in relation to another human person. It is a question here of a mutual relationship: man to woman and woman to man. Being a person in the image and likeness of God thus involves existing in a relationship, in relation to the other ‘I’. This is a prelude to the definitive self-revelation of the Triune God: a living unity in the communion of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

“Man and woman, created as a ‘unity of the two’ in their common humanity, are called to live in a communion of love, and in this way to mirror in the world the communion of love that is in God, through which the Three Persons love each other in the intimate mystery of the one divine life.”

1988 Apostolic Letter Mulieris Dignitatem, no. 7

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II (or occasionally another pope). These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

See All Sunday Pope Quotes

Pope Benedict speaks to U.S. bishop about religious freedom, the role of the Church in the world

Pope Benedict XVI addressed the bishops of Washington, D.C., Baltimore, and the archdiocese for the Military Services this morning at the Vatican, speaking to them about the role of religious freedom in the life and history of the United States of America. In light of the connection between protecting marriage and protecting religious freedom, we thought it would be helpful to highlight a selection of the Holy Father’s comments below (note: all emphases below are added):

“At the heart of every culture, whether perceived or not, is a consensus about the nature of reality and the moral good, and thus about the conditions for human flourishing. In America, that consensus, as enshrined in your nation’s founding documents, was grounded in a worldview shaped not only by faith but a commitment to certain ethical principles deriving from nature and nature’s God.”

The Pope went on to identify the current crisis: “Today that consensus has eroded significantly in the face of powerful new cultural currents which are not only directly opposed to core moral teachings of the Judeo-Christian tradition, but increasingly hostile to Christianity as such. For her part, the Church in the United States is called, in season and out of season, to proclaim a Gospel which not only proposes unchanging moral truths but proposes them precisely as the key to human happiness and social prospering (cf. Gaudium et Spes, 10).”

Pope Benedict XVI identified the Catholic Church’s role in the public sphere: “The Church’s witness, then, is of its nature public: she seeks to convince by proposing rational arguments in the public square. The legitimate separation of Church and State cannot be taken to mean that the Church must be silent on certain issues, nor that the State may choose not to engage, or be engaged by, the voices of committed believers in determining the values which will shape the future of the nation.”

The Holy Father noted that “Our tradition does not speak from blind faith, but from a rational perspective which links our commitment to building an authentically just, humane and prosperous society to our ultimate assurance that the cosmos is possessed of an inner logic accessible to human reasoning.”

He concluded, “In the light of these considerations, it is imperative that the entire Catholic community in the United States come to realize the grave threats to the Church’s public moral witness presented by a radical secularism which finds increasing expression in the political and cultural spheres. […] Of particular concern are certain attempts being made to limit that most cherished of American freedoms, the freedom of religion.”

Read the Holy Father’s address here. 

Read other Pope Quotes

Washington State Bishops Release Public Letter About Marriage

The Catholic Bishops of Washington State recently released a public letter calling for citizens to maintain the legal definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman. In their letter, Archbishop Sartain and Auxiliary Bishop Elizondo of Seattle, together with Bishop Cupich of Spokane and Bishop Tyson of Yakima noted that

“Marriage in faith and societal traditions is acknowledged as the foundation of civilization. It has long been recognized that the stability of society depends on the stability of family life in which a man and a woman conceive and nurture new life. In this way, civil recognition of marriage has sought to bestow on countless generations of children the incomparable benefit of a loving mother and father committed to one another in a lifelong union. (emphasis added)”

The bishops reiterated that marriage is not only a teaching of faith, but is also a truth accessible to right reason: “Washington State’s present law defining marriage as ‘a civil contract between a male and a female’ is grounded not in faith, but in reason and the experience of society.” In other words, we can and should have recourse to right reason in defending the truth of the Church’s moral teaching regarding marriage.

Finally, the bishops of Washington State “urge [citizens] to contact your own state senator and your two state representatives to request that they defend the current legal definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman.”

The Washington Catholic Bishops’ appeal is for the good will of all and they ask “all to join in praying with us for married couples and families and to do everything possible to support them.”

Read the Bishop’s full letter here: http://www.seattlearchdiocese.org/Assets/ARCH/BishopsMarriageStatement.pdf

Website for the Washington State Catholic Conference: http://thewscc.org/

Sunday Pope Quote: Pope Paul VI on the meaning of married love

Today’s Pope Quote is an oldie but a goodie. In his 1968 encyclical Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI mediates on various characteristics of marital, or conjugal, love. Together, these characteristics provide a robust picture of what all married love is, and called to be.

Pope Paul VI: “This love is first of all fully human, that is to say, of the senses and of the spirit at the same time…

“[T]his love is total, that is to say, it is a very special form of personal friendship, in which husband and wife generously share everything…

“[T]his love is faithful and exclusive until death…

“[F]inally, this love is fecund, for it is not exhausted by the communion between husband and wife, but is destined to continue, raising up new lives.”

Read the whole passage in section 9 of Humanae Vitae.

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II. These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

All Sunday Pope Quotes

Ecumenical and Interreligious Letter on Marriage and Religious Freedom

Released today: an open letter, “Marriage and Religious Freedom: Fundamental Goods That Stand or Fall Together,” signed by 39 religious leaders representing 33 different communities.

The letter’s purpose is twofold: first, to express the commitment of diverse religious communities to promote and protect marriage as the union of one man and one woman; second, to draw attention to the grave consequences of altering this understanding of marriage in law, especially in regards to the religious freedom of individuals and institutions.

The signers write, “We encourage all people of good will to protect marriage as the union between one man and one woman, and to consider carefully the far-reaching consequences for the religious freedom of all Americans if marriage is redefined. We especially urge those entrusted with the public good to support laws that uphold the time-honored definition of marriage, and so avoid threatening the religious freedom of countless institutions and citizens in this country (emphasis added).”

More information:

• Full open letter: “Marriage and Religious Freedom: Fundamental Goods That Stand or Fall Together” (January 12, 2012)
• One-page Executive Summary (ideal for including in bulletins)
• Q&A on the open letter: further context and explanation of the letter’s context and aims
• Press release: “Religious Leaders Join Together In Support Of Marriage, Religious Liberty“
• FAQs on Religious Liberty

Today’s letter continues the ecumenical and interreligious collaboration on promoting and protecting marriage and religious freedom. The letter serves as a fitting sequel to the open letter released on December 6, 2010, “The Protection of Marriage: A Shared Commitment.”

Pope Benedict XVI on Marriage and Religious Freedom

In his annual address to the members of the diplomatic corps accredited to the Holy See delivered at the Vatican yesterday, January 9, 2012, Pope Benedict XVI singled out the importance of the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman. The Holy Father commented that the goal of the education of young people is to lead them “to a full knowledge of reality and thus of truth.” The primary setting for such an education, asserted the Pope, is the family, which is “not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society.” Pope Benedict XVI went on to say that “policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself. The family unit is fundamental for the educational process and for the development both of individuals and States; hence there is a need for policies which promote the family and aid social cohesion and dialogue. It is in the family that we become open to the world and to life.”

Additionally, the Holy Father highlighted the importance of religious freedom in all parts of the world, and noted that “we see policies aimed at marginalizing the role of religion in the life of society, as if it were a cause of intolerance rather than a valued contribution to education in respect for human dignity, justice and peace.”

The Holy Father concluded that “the Holy See continues to offer its proper contribution to the international community in accordance with the twofold desire clearly enunciated by the Second Vatican Council […]: to proclaim the lofty grandeur of our human calling and the presence within us of a divine seed, and to offer humanity sincere cooperation in building a sense of universal fraternity corresponding to this calling.” (See Gaudium et Spes, 3)

Read the entire Address here. 

Sunday Pope Quote: JPII on the gift of every newborn child

Today we celebrate the Epiphany of the Lord. This multi-faceted feast recalls, among other things, the visit of the Magi (or wise men) to the infant Jesus: “On entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. Then they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh” (Matt 2:11). The Magi were among the first, then, to recognize Who this Child was. Their experience is reminiscent of the classic hymn: “Infant holy, infant lowly, for his bed a cattle stall; oxen lowing, little knowing Christ the babe is Lord of all.”

Today’s Sunday Pope Quote reflects on the gift that every child is, a gift we are reminded of anew when we reflect on the gift of the holy Child Jesus.

Bl. John Paul II: The newborn child gives itself to its parents by the very fact of its coming into existence. Its existence is already a gift, the first gift of the Creator to the creature.

…But is it really true that the new human being is a gift for his parents? A gift for society? Apparently nothing seems to indicate this. On occasion the birth of a child appears to be a simple statistical fact, registered like so many other data in demographic records. It is true that for parents the birth of a child means more work, new financial burdens and further inconveniences, all of which can lead to the temptation not to want another birth…But is it really true that a child brings nothing to the family and society?

…The child becomes a gift to its brothers, sisters, parents and entire family. Its life becomes a gift for the very people who were givers of life and who cannot help but feel its presence, its sharing in their life and its contribution to their common good and to that of the community of the family.

Letter to Families, no. 11

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II. These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

All Sunday Pope Quotes

“Made for Life”: reflections on the gift of children, fathers and mothers

Merry Christmas!

In honor of a season that directs our attention to a babe in a manger, we’d like to remind you of the resources about marriage and children available through Marriage: Unique for a Reason:

• “Made for Life” DVD: reflections from real married couples on what it means that children are a gift and why fathers and mothers matter
• “Made for Life” Viewer’s Guide: brief reflections on the DVD with discussion questions for groups
• “Made for Life” Resource Booklet: an aid to priests, deacons, catechists and teachers with more developed commentary plus tips for handing on the Church’s teaching

From the DVD: “You give yourself, then, totally and completely…saying ‘I love you so much, I’m going to give myself to you as a gift, and I am open to whatever that brings and whatever God wants.”

“It’s kind of a beautiful miracle, that from our difference comes a brand-new life.”

From the Viewer’s Guide: “If sexual difference is important – necessary, in fact – for conceiving a child, then it makes sense that sexual difference would also be important for raising a child. In other words, the importance of sexual difference does not end at conception” (17).

“Beyond the distinctive talents and gifts of fathers and mothers, there remains a core difference between them. Only a woman can mother; only a man can father. Mothers teach femininity in a distinctive and vital way; fathers teach masculinity in a distinctive and vital way. This is not stereotyping. It is acknowledging and celebrating the unique gifts of women and men” (21).

From the Resource Booklet: “Even husbands and wives who are not blessed with children still form a total communion of persons, and still are called to be fruitful and generously loving” (xi).

“Marriage is the essential pro-child institution, and thus it is the essential pro-life institution. Children are meant to be welcomed into life as the gifts they are, and the loving union of a husband and a wife is the natural context that protects the child as a gift” (12).

You can read the written materials online or download and print them for free. Enjoy!

Website tour, stop 5: Media toolkit

The Marriage: Unique for a Reason website has now been live since mid-November, when it was announced by Bishop Cordileone at the bishops’ General Assembly. For the next few days, we’d like to take you on a “virtual tour” of the website so you are aware of the many resources available here

Fifth Stop: Media Toolkit

In addition to content specifically meant for members of the media, the Media Toolkit page, located on the top right of the website, has several helpful features to offer the general website visitor.

First, there are a list of press releases related to the Marriage: Unique for a Reason initiative. (On the USCCB website, there is a full list of press releases about the bishops’ work to defend marriage.)

Second, the banner ad library has differently sized web banners that are able to be placed on other websites or blogs. For example, the web pages of the Archdiocese of Denver and the Archdiocese of Saint Paul & Minneapolis both feature Marriage: Unique for a Reason web banners. If you have your own website or blog, consider adding a Marriage: Unique for a Reason web banner!

Next stop: Blog page

See all website tour stops here

Married Saints: St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

The basics:

• Born in New York City on August 28, 1774
• Married in 1794 to William Magee Seton
• Mother of five children
• Widowed in 1803
• Founded the Sisters of Charity of St. Joseph’s in 1809
• Died in Emmitsburg, MD on January 4, 1821
• Feast day: January 4

Read St. Elizabeth Ann Seton’s whole story in the Catholic Encyclopedia.

Read Pope Paul VI’s homily at St. Elizabeth’s canonization in 1975.

“Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton is an American. All of us say this with spiritual joy, and with the intention of honoring the land and the nation from which she marvellously [sic] sprang forth as the first flower in the calendar of saints…Rejoice, we say to the great nation of the United States of America. Rejoice for your glorious daughter! Be proud of her. And know how to preserve her fruitful heritage.” – Pope Paul VI

Notable:

• St. Elizabeth Ann Seton was the first American-born person to be canonized.
• After being raised in a devout Episcopalian family, St. Elizabeth encountered the Catholic faith during a trip to Italy with her ailing husband and eldest daughter. Returning to the U.S. as a thirty-year-old widow, she entered the Catholic Church on Ash Wednesday, March 14, 1805.
• St. Elizabeth is buried next to her nephew, James Roosevelt Bayley, who also converted to the Catholic faith and served as the eighth archbishop of Baltimore.

Quotes from St. Elizabeth Ann Seton:

“What was the first rule of our dear Savior’s life? You know it was to do His Father’s will. Well, then, the first end I propose in our daily work is to do the will of God; secondly to do it in the manner He wills; and thirdly, to do it because it is His will. I know what is His will by those who direct me; whatever they bid me do, if it is ever so small in itself, is the will of God for me. Then, do it in the manner He wills it.”

“We must pray literally without ceasing – without ceasing – in every occurrence and employment of our lives…that prayer of the heart which is independent of place or situation, or which is rather a habit of lifting up the heart to God as in a constant communication with Him.”

“Be children of the Church.” – words spoken by St. Elizabeth on her deathbed

Pilgrimage sites:

• Seton Shrine in New York City
• Mother Seton House in Baltimore
• National Shrine and Basilica in Emmitsburg, MD

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, wife, mother, and widow, pray for us!

About this series:

On the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog, we’ll be highlighting from time to time married saints and blesseds, that is, those men and women whom the Church holds up to us as exemplary models of the Christian life. The saints teach us what holiness looks like (see the Catechism, no. 2030). Married saints, then, teach us what holiness looks like as a married person. On a website dedicated to teaching the authentic meaning of marriage, it is only fitting to look to those who have lived the authentic meaning of marriage. They are the “great cloud of witnesses” that have gone before us and who inspire us to “persevere in running the race that lies before us” (Heb. 12:1).

“The saints have always been the source and origin of renewal in the most difficult moments in the Church’s history.” – Bl. John Paul II, Christifideles Laici, no. 16

Learn about other married blesseds and saints here.

Another feast day! Mary, Mother of God

“The Virgin Mary, being obedient to his word, received from an angel the glad tidings that she would bear God.”

St. Irenaeus of Lyons, Against Heresies (2^nd Century); 5:19:1

Today is the feast day of Mary, Mother of God. Following so closely on the feast of the Holy Family, today is a perfect opportunity to reflect on the blessing of mothers. We invite you to watch “Made for Life” and contemplate the unique gift that every mother gives to her children.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us

Two Papal Homilies for the Feast of the Holy Family

Today the Church celebrates the feast of the Holy Family. Today is well-suited, then, for reflection on the meaning and the vocation of the family today. We share with you two homilies by former popes, both rich in images and ideas for contemplation.

First, a beautiful passage from a 1964 homily given by Pope Paul VI in Nazareth, as found in the Catechism, no. 533:

“The home of Nazareth is the school where we begin to understand the life of Jesus – the school of the Gospel. First, then, a lesson of silence. May esteem for silence, that admirable and indispensable condition of mind, revive in us . . . A lesson on family life. May Nazareth teach us what family life is, its communion of love, its austere and simply beauty, and its sacred and inviolable character . . . A lesson of work. Nazareth, home of the ‘Carpenter’s Son,’ in you I would choose to understand and proclaim the severe and redeeming law of human work.”

The full text is available on the Vatican website, but only in Spanish or French.

Second, a homily by Bl. John Paul II from the first year of his pontificate, 1978. His words are a beautiful and timeless reflection on the meaning of the family and the threats it faces (in 1978 as well as today!).

“The deepest human problems are connected with the family. It constitutes the primary, fundamental and irreplaceable community for man. ‘The mission of being the primary vital cell of society has been given to the family by God himself,’ the Second Vatican Council affirms. (Apostolicam Actuositatem, 11) The Church wishes to bear a particular witness to that too during the Octave of Christmas, by means of the feast of the Holy Family. She wishes to recall that the fundamental values, which cannot be violated without incalculable harm of a moral nature, are bound up with the family.”

Read the entire homily here.

Have a wonderful feast day.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, pray for us!

All Sunday Pope Quotes

Website tour, stop 4: Links page

The Marriage: Unique for a Reason website has now been live since mid-November, when it was announced by Bishop Cordileone at the bishops’ General Assembly. For the next few days, we’d like to take you on a “virtual tour” of the website so you are aware of the many resources available here.

Fourth Stop: Links

The Links page needs little explanation: it includes a series of links that we hope will be helpful to website visitors. These include many links to USCCB-run websites, such as For Your Marriage and the well-known Respect Life program.

An important feature of the Links page is that it provides links to a number of statements from State Catholic Conferences. These organizations function as the “policy arm” of the bishops in a state or region, and as such advocate for Christian principles in the public square. In recent years, many State Catholic Conferences have issued statements about marriage and marriage redefinition (for example, Illinois and Maryland). These statements are a witness to the commitment and effort of Catholics throughout the country to promote and protect marriage, and they are particularly valuable to Catholics in that state or region.

We invite you to explore the various links provided, especially those to State Catholic Conference statements.

Next Stop: Media Toolkit

Website tour, stop 3: Marriage FAQs

The Marriage: Unique for a Reason website has now been live since mid-November, when it was announced by Bishop Cordileone at the bishops’ General Assembly. For the next few days, we’d like to take you on a “virtual tour” of the website so you are aware of the many resources available here.

Third Stop: FAQs

The FAQs about marriage are divided according to the four themes of the Marriage: Unique for a Reason website: sexual difference, children, the common good, and religious liberty. Within each section are found some of the most common questions raised about marriage:

• Why can’t marriage be “redefined” to include two men or two women?
• Why is a child meant to have both a father and a mother?
• What’s the real threat to religious liberty posed by same-sex “marriage”?

…and so on.

The answers come from the wealth of the Church’s teaching on marriage, with an eye to faithfully explaining that teaching in the contemporary context. The FAQs are meant to be an accessible, useful resource for engaging in conversations about the meaning of marriage. We invite you to read and ponder them, and to share them with friends and family by using the buttons at the top of the page. You can also link to an FAQ individually, if you’d like to share that particular question and answer with someone who would find it helpful.

Next Stop: Links

Merry Christmas!

Here are some passages for reflection this Christmas day, from the Catechism and from an early Church Father, St. Athanasius.

Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 460

“The Word became flesh to make us “partakers of the divine nature“[2 Pet 1:4]: “For this is why the Word became man, and the Son of God became the Son of man: so that man, by entering into communion with the Word and thus receiving divine sonship, might become a son of God.” [St. Irenaeus] “For the Son of God became man so that we might become God.” [St. Athanasius] “The only-begotten Son of God, wanting to make us sharers in his divinity, assumed our nature, so that he, made man, might make men gods.” [St. Thomas Aquinas]

St. Athanasius, selection from On the Incarnation of the Word (4^th Century)

“But for the searching of the Scriptures and true knowledge of them, an honourable life is needed, and a pure soul, and that virtue which is according to Christ; so that the intellect guiding its path by it, may be able to attain what it desires, and to comprehend it, in so far as it is accessible to human nature to learn concerning the Word of God.  For without a pure mind and a modeling of the life after the saints, a man could not possibly comprehend the words of the saints. For just as, if a man wished to see the light of the sun, he would at any rate wipe and brighten his eye, purifying himself in some sort like what he desires, so that the eye, thus becoming light, may see the light of the sun; or as, if a man would see a city or country, he at any rate comes to the place to see it—thus he that would comprehend the mind of those who speak of God must needs begin by washing and cleansing his soul, by his manner of living, and approach the saints themselves by imitating their works; so that, associated with them in the conduct of a common life, he may understand also what has been revealed to them by God, and thenceforth, as closely knit to them, may escape the peril of the sinners and their fire at the day of judgment, and receive what is laid up for the saints in the kingdom of heaven, which “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man,” (1 Cor 2:9) whatsoever things are prepared for them that live a virtuous life, and love the God and Father, in Christ Jesus our Lord: through Whom and with Whom be to the Father Himself, with the Son Himself, in the Holy Spirit, honour and might and glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

Source: New Advent

Website tour, stop 2: Church Teaching page

The Marriage: Unique for a Reason website has now been live since mid-November, when it was announced by Bishop Cordileone at the bishops’ General Assembly. For the next few days, we’d like to take you on a “virtual tour” of the website so you are aware of the many resources available here.

Second stop: Church Teachings

For an authentic education in the Catholic Church’s teaching on marriage, there is no substitute for the primary, authoritative teaching documents of the Church. On the Church Teachings page, you’ll find links to these main documents: the Catechism, papal encyclicals, Second Vatican Council documents, and more. The Church does not leave her children empty-handed when it comes to the perennial questions about man, life, marriage, and meaning. The answers she gives may not be readily condensable into sound bites – but perhaps they are all the more valuable because of that!

We invite you to take the time to read and reflect on the Church’s teaching about marriage. Even if we have read something before, there is always something more that may surprise and enlighten us!

Next stop: FAQs

Website tour, stop 1: Theme pages

The Marriage: Unique for a Reason website has now been live since mid-November, when it was announced by Bishop Cordileone at the bishops’ General Assembly. For the next few days, we’d like to take you on a “virtual tour” of the website so you are aware of the many resources available here.

First stop: the Four Themes

The website is visually divided in two parts by the large masthead picture (St. Joachim and St. Anne on the main page, for example). Beneath the picture is a series of tabs. The first four tabs each represent a theme identified by the bishops as essential for contemporary catechesis on marriage: Sexual Difference, Children, The Common Good, and Religious Liberty. The final tab features resources for Spanish speakers: La Familia.

Eventually, each theme (plus Spanish) will have its own short film and written materials that explain the topic in depth. To date, two themes have been completed: Sexual Difference (“Made for Each Other”) and Children (“Made for Life”). Each of these tabs have a wealth of information you can access to deepen your knowledge about why sexual difference matters for marriage, what marriage has to do with children, and why mothers and fathers matter.

In addition, each theme page has its own set of FAQs that address common questions raised about that topic. The Common Good FAQs examine marriage’s connection with society and why protecting the meaning of marriage is essential for a just society . The Religious Liberty FAQs reflect on the interconnection between marriage and religious liberty. And the FAQs found under La Familia include all of the FAQs, translated into Spanish.

We encourage you to explore the four themes and learn more about marriage!

Next stop: Church Teachings

Sunday Pope Quote: Benedict XVI on marriage and the Eucharist

Pope Benedict XVI: The Eucharist, as the sacrament of charity, has a particular relationship with the love of man and woman united in marriage. A deeper understanding of this relationship is needed at the present time.

Pope John Paul II frequently spoke of the nuptial character of the Eucharist and its special relationship with the sacrament of Matrimony: “The Eucharist is the sacrament of our redemption. It is the sacrament of the Bridegroom and of the Bride.” Moreover, “the entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist.”

The Eucharist inexhaustibly strengthens the indissoluble unity and love of every Christian marriage. By the power of the sacrament, the marriage bond is intrinsically linked to the eucharistic unity of Christ the Bridegroom and his Bride, the Church (cf. Eph 5:31-32). The mutual consent that husband and wife exchange in Christ, which establishes them as a community of life and love, also has a eucharistic dimension. Indeed, in the theology of Saint Paul, conjugal love is a sacramental sign of Christ’s love for his Church, a love culminating in the Cross, the expression of his “marriage” with humanity and at the same time the origin and heart of the Eucharist.

For this reason the Church manifests her particular spiritual closeness to all those who have built their family on the sacrament of Matrimony. The family – the domestic Church – is a primary sphere of the Church’s life, especially because of its decisive role in the Christian education of children. In this context, the Synod also called for an acknowledgment of the unique mission of women in the family and in society, a mission that needs to be defended, protected and promoted. Marriage and motherhood represent essential realities which must never be denigrated.

Sacramentum Caritatis (2007), no. 27

About this series:

Every Sunday, the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog will feature a short quote from either our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, or our late Holy Father, Bl. John Paul II. These two men have given the world an immense treasury of wisdom about marriage, love, and the meaning of the human person, all of which are topics integral to the Church’s witness today. Their words are well worth reflecting on, as we have much to learn from these wise successors of St. Peter.

All Sunday Pope Quotes

One-year Anniversary: Ecumenical/Interreligious Commitment to Marriage

“How good it is, how pleasant, where the people dwell as one!” – Psalm 133:1 (NAB)

Just over one year ago, on December 6, 2010, leaders from twenty-seven different religious communities joined together to reaffirm their commitment to marriage as the permanent and faithful union of one man and one woman. In an open letter entitled  “The Protection of Marriage: A Shared Commitment”  religious leaders representing a wide-range of Christian churches and communities, Jewish organizations and the American Sikh community joined the Catholic Church in expressing their common concern and commitment to marriage between one man and one woman as an unalterable institution in the bedrock of our society.

“As religious leaders across different faith communities,” the signatories wrote, “we join together and affirm our shared commitment to promote and protect marriage as the union of one man and one woman. We honor the unique love between husbands and wives; the indispensable place of fathers and mothers; and the corresponding rights and dignity of all children.”

The open letter was a remarkable expression of ecumenical and interreligious collaboration, and a hopeful sign of joint activity yet to come. Despite the groups’ theological and cultural differences, they affirmed together their common belief that protecting and promoting marriage is a fundamental task for all people of faith. Indeed, “how good it is, how pleasant, where the people dwell as one!”

• Full text and signers: “The Protection of Marriage: A Shared Commitment”
• Press release: “Religious Leaders Voice Shared Commitment to Protect Marriage”
• Backgrounder on the open letter

Sexual difference: Why does it matter?

So far in our series on sexual difference, we have looked at various ways that our culture describes sexual difference (part one and part two), examined Scripture and the Catechism on the subject, and added two helpful phrases to our repertoire of describing sexual difference (“asymmetrical reciprocity” and “double unity”). One important point remains to be discussed: Why does sexual difference matter?

Difference: the foundation of love

Before considering sexual difference specifically, let’s take one step back: why does difference matter?

Sunday Pope Quote: JPII on the divine “We” and sexual difference

Bl. Pope John Paul II: “In the light of the New Testament it is possible to discern how the primordial model of the family is to be sought in God himself, in the Trinitarian mystery of his life. The divine ‘We’ is the eternal pattern of the human ‘we,’ especially of that ‘we’ formed by the man and the woman created in the divine image and likeness. The words of the Book of Genesis contain that truth about man which is confirmed by the very experience of humanity.

Sexual difference: “Double unity”

This is the fifth post in our series about sexual difference.

Earlier posts:

• Common misconceptions about sexual difference (part one and part two)
• Sexual difference in Scripture and the Catechism
• Useful phrase #1: asymmetrical reciprocity

In this post, we’ll look at a second helpful way of understanding sexual difference, one that is found in Pope John Paul II’s The Theology of the Body, where the Holy Father speaks of “double unity” or “dual unity.”

Sexual difference: “Asymmetrical Reciprocity”

Welcome back to this series on sexual difference! So far we have looked at various ways that our culture describes sexual difference (here and here) and have delved into Scripture and the Catechism on the subject. Now, in Part 3, we will examine two phrases – “asymmetrical reciprocity” and “double unity” – that, despite being mouthfuls, are incredibly helpful in illuminating sexual difference.

Asymmetrical Reciprocity

In his book The Nuptial Mystery, Angelo Cardinal Scola offers the phrase “asymmetrical reciprocity” as a way to understand sexual difference. He writes that “nuptiality,” the complex phenomenon of male-female interactions, “manifests a reciprocity between me and another. This reciprocity bears a very peculiar characteristic which I call ‘asymmetry’” (92).

Sexual difference: Going back to the “beginning”

Today’s post is the third in a series about sexual difference.

Previous posts:

• Sexual Difference: Shedding light on popular claims (part one)
• Sexual Difference: Shedding light on popular claims (part two)

In this post, we will examine Scripture and the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) on the subject of sexual difference.

Sunday Pope Quote: Benedict XVI on being “re-created” in love

Pope Benedict XVI: “…in love the human person is ‘re-created’. Incipit vita nuova [a new life begins], as Dante said, (Vita Nuova I, 1), the life of the new unity of the two in one flesh. The true appeal of sexuality is born of the vastness of this horizon that opens up: integral beauty, the universe of the other person and of the “we” that is born of the union, the promise of communion that is hidden therein, the new fruitfulness, the path towards God, the source of love, which love opens up.

A prayer in thanksgiving for marriage

Almighty God,
source and sustainer of all good things,
by the workings of your grace,
on this Thanksgiving Day,
inspire married couples with a spirit of gratitude
for the love that originates in you.

Sexual difference: Shedding light on popular claims (II)

Today’s post is the second in a series about sexual difference.

In Monday’s post, we shed light on two popular (but misleading) claims about sexual difference: that it is a wound or curse, and that it is a societal construct. In this post, we’ll look at two more popular ideas about sexual difference.

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Is sexual difference an unbridgeable chasm?

Sexual difference: Shedding light on popular claims (I)

Today’s post is the first in a series about sexual difference. Stay tuned for more!

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First, let’s clear the pathway, so to speak, by thinking about popular notions about sexual difference and where they fail to capture the full truth.

Is sexual difference a wound or a curse?

Sunday Pope Quote: JPII on communion and complementarity

Bl. John Paul II: “The first communion is the one which is established and which develops between husband and wife: By virtue of the covenant of married life, the man and woman ‘are no longer two but one flesh’ and they are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total self-giving.

Married Saints: St. Elizabeth of Hungary

The basics:

• Born in 1207 in a castle in northern Hungary
• Married in 1221 to Louis of Thuringia
• Mother of three children
• Died November 17, 1231 in Marburg at the age of 24
• Feast day: November 17

“Made for Life”: an introduction

Pop quiz: What is the “supreme gift” of marriage?

If you answered “children,” ding ding ding ding! Children are the “supreme gift” of marriage and its “ultimate crown” (Second Vatican Council, Gaudium et Spes, nos. 50, 48). Put another way, the procreation of children is one of the two ends, or purposes, of marriage:

“Made for Each Other”: an introduction

Do a man and a woman really matter for marriage?

Some today might not even think to ask this question. Others might answer a resounding “no” to this question. “What does being a man or being a woman matter?” they might say. “All you need is love…”

But is this true?

Welcome from Bishop Cordileone

Bishop Salvatore Cordileone

Dear Friends,

Welcome to the Marriage: Unique for a Reason website.

As the chairman of the USCCB Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage, as well as the bishop of Oakland, California, I am happy you are visiting this website, the latest project in the ongoing work of the bishops to strengthen marriage and the family, and particularly to promote and defend marriage as the union of one man and one woman. We are excited to establish this latest online presence for the Subcommittee’s work.